meaganisohsoawesome:

champ2000:

hype1ting:

Everyone reblog this can’t this is perfect

Out of these 454k notes how many of them waited for the number to reach to zero?

you know how scared i was when it was almost zero



fightingscholarlykrogan:

thehalfbloodprinceofbelair:

hashtag-metis-swag:

mapsontheweb:

The contour of some American states form a Chef carrying a tray of fried chicken

This is so important

nOBODY has mentioned the fact that the chicken is Kentucky
kentucky fried chicken

the conspiracy slowly unravels


memewhore:

findingthinagain:

If you invite me to a party please make sure to have a cat or dog present so I have someone to hang out with.

The last Thanksgiving dinner I went to, I spent the whole time alone with their cat except for the eating part.




weedjoke420:

one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared



lennonlively:

i told this girl she smelled nice today and she’s like

“sorry i’m not gay”

bitch i said you smelled nice not i want to lick your pussy



persequimur:

His pledge to her:
I will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you.  i will love you. i will love you.

officialwhitegirls:

mom: were gonna have mcdonalds for dinner

image

(Source: officialwhitegirls)



iswearimnotnaked:

my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”